Leadership Communication Coaching
For several years, I sent out a blog to readers a few times a week. These posts gave pointers about how to practice, shared relevant stories, and provided a way for people to connect with my coaching approach.
In 2022, I wrote my book, Before You Say Anything, which brought many of these ideas together in one place. The blog posts have continued to resonate with clients and readers, and they're useful as a quick reminder, so I'm including them here!
For several years, I sent out a blog to readers a few times a week. These posts gave pointers about how to practice, shared relevant stories, and provided a way for people to connect with my coaching approach. In 2022, I wrote my book, Before You Say Anything, which brought many of these ideas together in one place. The blog posts have continued to resonate with clients and readers, and they’re useful as a quick reminder, so I’m including them here!
When in doubt, remember: It’s not about you. That presentation, that difficult conversation, that speech—it’s not about you. Even when the topic is you, it’s not about you. It’s about the person or people you’re talking to. That’s what they’re thinking about, so that’s what you should be thinking about.
There seems to be an inherent insecurity around being able to accomplish good public speaking consistently. Even people who are skilled speakers worry about “losing the magic” or not being “in the zone.” I get it—I’ve definitely had experiences when it feels like a talk I’m giving reaches a place it hasn’t gone before, where all the cylinders are firing in a brand-new way. But when we let ourselves believe that it’s a fluke, that the planets just happened to align that one day, then we let ourselves off the hook for doing a great job every time. Dancers, athletes, … Read more
In our coaching approach, we are really high on practice. My standard instruction is, “You should have your content complete at least a week before you are going to present, so that you don’t have to adjust at the last minute.” But let’s have some real talk. It’s rare that we’re working that far ahead. In order to have our talking points solid a week ahead of time, we have to have been working on them for a couple of weeks already. And while there are those unicorns out there who do this, it’s uncommon. And sometimes we’re asked to … Read more
When you have to do something you don’t want to do, how do you talk to yourself about it? I guess I’ll get it over with. This isn’t fair. I’ll probably screw this up. There are a million reasons I shouldn’t have to do this. I’m always bad at this. I’m resentful, so I’ll won’t put much effort into it. That’ll show ‘em. The voice we use to talk to ourselves sets the tone for everything else. Our facial expressions, vocal tone, word choices, and everything else are going to follow its lead. What happens when we make a decision … Read more
Research has just come out that tracks neural activity between people interacting on Zoom and compares it to activity between people interacting in person. The results are definitely in line with what I, and lots of people I’ve talked to, have experienced in our virtual environment. The lead researcher, Yale neuroscientist Joy Hirsch, said, “Zoom appears to be an impoverished social communication system relative to in-person conditions.” Essentially, our brains don’t react or process inputs the same way when we’re connecting through a screen. One element of the research was particularly interesting to me: when people communicated in person, there … Read more
This morning, I woke up thinking about an old friend. In fact, I had dreamed that I ran into her and her wonderful family, and I was so happy to see her. “Right,” I thought, “this is a sign that you need to text her.” I had actually been meaning to text her for the past couple of weeks, since the Hamas attacks on October 7. She is Jewish, and her posts on social media about this terrible time have been moving and thought-provoking. I wanted her to know I’d been thinking of her and to thank her for what … Read more
This one’s a re-post: enjoy! Even if you’re late to the meeting, don’t look rushed. Even if the speaker before you cut into your time by ten minutes, don’t look rushed. Even if you overcommitted and have two other places to be, don’t look rushed. Looking rushed is a default intention. It’s an effort we’re making to make sure other people know that we’re busy, or that that other guy talked too long, or that we can’t linger here, so don’t ask questions. What could we do instead? Instead of talking fast, checking the time, and having our mind in … Read more
This one’s a re-post: enjoy! I can’t help with fear of death, or apocalypse, or zombies. But the fear many of us experience when we have a high-stakes presentation or meeting coming up? I have a suggestion. Most of us can describe an interpersonal situation we don’t want to be in. The three situations we hear about most often from clients are: 1) Giving a speech or presentation to a lot of people 2) Having to give tough feedback or fire someone, and 3) Needing to answer questions when we’re not sure what’s going to be asked. In all three … Read more
There’s a difference. You can prepare yourself. You might memorize your speech, or choose your outfit. You could review your notes just before you go on. But preparing for your audience is different. It requires thinking about the entire experience from their viewpoint. What do they want to hear? How do they hope to feel when it’s over? Do they need to learn something in particular? How can you create your talk to lead to the outcome they’re interested in ( or that they’ll be surprised and delighted by?) Sometimes (often, actually) we have to sacrifice some of what makes … Read more
Angie Flynn-McIver coaches senior leaders and keynote speakers to communicate with clarity, impact, and self-awareness. Her background in professional theatre directing gives her work a distinctive edge: she understands performance and what it takes to hold a room. She is the author of Before You Say Anything, co-founder of the award-winning North Carolina Stage Company, and holds both a PCC credential from the International Coaching Federation and an M.S. in Organizational Development and Leadership.
Angie Flynn-McIver Leadership Communication
Located in Asheville, North Carolina
Serving clients worldwide
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