The Blog / Archive

Make the furniture work for you.  A lot of people take the arrangement of furniture in a conference room or auditorium space for granted, like it put itself there. Most likely, it was either left that way by the people in the room before you, or a team of people arranged it according to a floor plan they default to, a floor plan that may not suit your needs.  Ask yourself: What configuration of the furniture will best support the goal of this meeting/presentation? If you’re leading a meeting and the tables aren’t set up to allow for maximum interaction … Read more

When I’m meeting with a coaching client, I usually use my own Zoom platform, and I have the waiting room function enabled.  When their name pops up at the top of the window, letting me know they’ve arrived, I smile. I smile as I click the button to let them in, before they can see me.  I smile much as I would if I had heard my doorbell and was walking through my home to greet a friend waiting on my front porch.  The smile is a tiny ritual that marks the beginning of my time with the client. It … Read more

Have you ever been the in the audience when a speaker, after greeting the crowd and getting a tepid response, says: “Oh, I know you can do better than that. Good morning!”  I had never thought much about it, but the subject came up recently after a friend shared that it bugs her when speakers do this, so of course, I wanted to think about why that might be. This tactic feels like something a more-than-usually enthusiastic principal of a middle school might use to get the students’ attention at an assembly. The dynamic reinforces that the speaker is “in … Read more

Our faces are our billboards to the world. They are telling the people around us how we’re feeling, whether it’s okay to approach us, what kind of person we are, whether we’re paying attention, what we think about the person who’s talking right now. This is even more true in a virtual environment. Since all we can see is your face, we’re getting all our clues  about your opinions from your expressions. In person, we can see the rest of the nonverbal cues you’re giving, and those give us a more nuanced version of your mood. Your face can be … Read more

“Introvert” and “extrovert” are words we love to throw around to describe ourselves and other people. But as with so many personality traits, using these terms as a general catch-all can do a real disservice to both types of folks and everyone in between. As I discuss in the video below, introversion and extroversion refer simply to how a person recharges their energy. It’s not directly related to being outgoing, shy, talkative, or social. To make it even more complicated, some people are introverts in certain scenarios and extroverts in others! Knowing how we, and those around us, recharge our … Read more

If you knew you needed to improve your public speaking, how would you start? Lots of people answer: “I would go and get feedback from people who have seen me present.” Okay, great. But what kind of feedback are you going to ask for? Before you answer, let me beg you, don’t say this: “The next time I present, will you give me some feedback on my body language and delivery?”  Why is this such a bad way to get insight into your presentation style? Because it focuses on your behaviors rather than how effective you are. In an ideal world, … Read more

A weak handshake “Um, so…” Slumped shoulders Confusing presentation structure A data dump of bullet points Rambling answers Text-heavy slides Or… A firm handshake Clear eye contact Posture that takes up space A clear message Energy that invites your audience in Stories that connect to the listener Images that convey ideas and emotions Which would you rather be on the receiving end of?

I have coached lots and lots of people who speak softly.  They all have insightful points to share, and thoughtful ideas to contribute. But every time they speak half of the group misses what they’re saying because they simply aren’t speaking loudly enough. I have written often in this space about how audiences need to do their part in creating a dynamic and effective environment—it’s not all on the speaker or presenter to cater to the listener. But in this case, in a quiet room when everyone is paying attention, no one can address the issue except the speaker herself. … Read more

When you’re in a meeting or presenting in front of a group, how much space are you taking up? This may seem like a strange question, but here’s why I’m asking. Some people take up as little space as possible. They shrink into themselves, crossing or even twining their arms and legs to be smaller, ducking their heads, contracting their shoulders. Not coincidentally, these same folks typically speak quickly and softly and make very little eye contact. They’re hiding, as best they can, even when they’re speaking. Other people take up as much space as they can. They stand or … Read more