I can’t hear you when I’m looking at my phone

Angie Flynn-McIver

Angie Flynn-McIver

For several years, I sent out a blog to readers a few times a week. These posts gave pointers about how to practice, shared relevant stories, and provided a way for people to connect with my coaching approach. In 2022, I wrote my book, Before You Say Anything, which brought many of these ideas together in one place. The blog posts have continued to resonate with clients and readers, and they're useful as a quick reminder, so I'm including them here!

It was a busy morning in our house, and I needed to leave early. I asked my kids to do several things before they left for school.

 

The first thing I asked my daughter to do involved looking up information on her phone. While she was doing that, I said, “Please make sure to get the recycling out to the street, and close the garage door.”

 

I headed out to my car. As I started the engine, I was looking straight into the open garage, with the recycling sitting inside it. In my rearview mirror, my daughter was getting into her own car.  What was going on here?

 

I got out of my car and jogged over to her window. “Hey, I needed you to get the recycling to the street.” She looked at me, totally bewildered. “You did?”

 

As she ran into the garage to deal with it, I thought back. I was in a hurry to get out of the house, so I lobbed a list of requests in her direction, not bothering to make sure she received them. And this is key:  the first thing she was doing involved a task on the phone. Her brain was occupied with the visual task of searching and swiping, so she literally couldn’t hear me .

 

New plan: I’m not going to talk to anyone while they’re finishing up a task on their phone, and by the same token, I’ll ask someone who wants to speak with me to wait just a second until I can give them my full attention.