For several years, I sent out a blog to readers a few times a week. These posts gave pointers about how to practice, shared relevant stories, and provided a way for people to connect with my coaching approach. In 2022, I wrote my book, Before You Say Anything, which brought many of these ideas together in one place. The blog posts have continued to resonate with clients and readers, and they're useful as a quick reminder, so I'm including them here!
Our biases help us navigate the world. We can’t possibly take in and assess all of the information coming at us each day, so we devise shortcuts—those are biases. (Here is some r
eally fascinating work on cognitive biases by Buster Benson.)
Lately, I’ve been hearing this phrase a lot: “I know I’m biased, but…” and then they go on to state their (biased) opinion. It’s like the acknowledgement of bias is supposed to let the speaker off the hook for whatever comes next. It’s simultaneously nodding to the fact that sure, I have a bias, while also saying, “I’m not going to do any work to overcome it right now.”
What if, instead, we tried something like this?
I’m biased, and that means there are things I’m not seeing.
I’m biased, and I need to run this past you so you can ask me questions.
I’m biased, and I know you have a different opinion. Can we explore this?
I’m biased, and I need to take a step back to make sure the group comes to a rational decision.