When to shut up.

Angie Flynn-McIver

Angie Flynn-McIver

For several years, I sent out a blog to readers a few times a week. These posts gave pointers about how to practice, shared relevant stories, and provided a way for people to connect with my coaching approach. In 2022, I wrote my book, Before You Say Anything, which brought many of these ideas together in one place. The blog posts have continued to resonate with clients and readers, and they're useful as a quick reminder, so I'm including them here!

Did you know that in professional theatre, the director is not allowed backstage after “half-hour,” the time the actors are called to be there for the show?

 

Do you know why?

 

Because that is the actors’ time to prepare for the show. Well-meaning but ill-timed directors are likely to want to tell them one more thing, give them one more note.

 

It’s too late.

 

I remember watching some 5th and 6th grade girls playing a semi-final tournament basketball game. One girl, playing really hard, was getting some intense sideline coaching from both her parents. Finally in the third quarter, after being fouled hard and with her team down six points, she snapped. “Shut UP!” she yelled at her parents. “Shut up!”

 

It’s hard to be the director, the fan, the parent on the sideline. You want to help, you think maybe this one thing will make a change, will elevate, will penetrate. More likely, though, it’s going to distract and annoy.

 

The rehearsal, the practice, the thinking—it’s out of your hands now. In an effort to feel like we have some control over what’s happening, we shout out that last thought, hint, reminder.  Instead of helping, it undermines the confidence of the person you’re trying to uplift.

 

Share these thoughts earlier, when there’s actually time to implement them. When it’s showtime, your job is to watch and clap.

 

Ready to reach the next level in your communication impact?  Email me, call me, let’s grab coffee!