The Blog / Archive

A good friend and reader of this blog texted me the following (edited for clarity): “Listening to a talk to get [continuing education credits]… The speaker keeps ending sentences with ‘…right?’ It makes me feel like she either feels insecure about what she’s saying, or she’s using a cheap way to be persuasive. It’s like a fake conversation because it’s not like I can really respond, and we’re a huge group over a screen. She’s not really asking me that so it’s ungenuine and weird and awkward.” Oh, the plague of “right”! Full disclosure: I have definitely caught myself doing … Read more

Audiences are strange animals. With no prior planning or verbal communication, they decide, in an instant, how to respond to what’s going on in front of them. Rarely, there are outliers who laugh when no one else does, or fail to rise for a standing ovation, but for the most part, an audience acts as one. Sometimes, an audience for a talk or presentation doesn’t applaud when it’s over. That can be an unsettling experience for a speaker, leaving them wondering how their message resonated, or if they connected at all. First, just understand that their reaction may have little … Read more

The first few seconds of your speech or presentation are setting the tone for the rest of what you’re going to say. Unfortunately, many speakers rush through the first few sentences, in a hurry to get to the main point of their talk. The beginning of your speech is crucial time for the audience to form some impressions of who you are and what to expect. Make sure you carefully craft and practice those moments: it’s much harder to get an audience back after you’ve lost them in the first minute than to engage them from the moment you appear. … Read more

Our bodies and voices are the vectors for our thoughts and messages. When we talk to other people in person, we use our bodies to do it. And generally, we know exactly what to do without really thinking about it—we angle ourselves toward someone we’re interested in talking to, we make eye contact, we modulate our voice to be sure they can hear us. All of a sudden, when the stakes are higher, we are aware of our bodies in a different way. What do I do with my hands? Why am I swaying? How do I make eye contact … Read more

Typically, I don’t like my clients to present while standing behind a podium. It constricts their ability to connect with the audience, it literally places furniture in front of the speaker, and it limits their movement, making them stiff. However.  I had occasion recently to watch a video one client sent me of a presentation she gave while standing behind a podium. I expected to hate it for all my usual reasons, but then…I didn’t. In this particular case, the speaker has lots of energy, and often isn’t quite sure what to do with it while presenting. She paces and … Read more

Typically, our coaching philosophy is what I would call inside-out. Start with the “why” of the communication, and that will influence the “how.” But sometimes outside-in works better. By standing up straighter, you can feel more confident. By making eye contact, you can generate connection. By slowing down, you can gain more control over your message.  Public speaking strategy isn’t one-size-fits-all. See what works for you today, in these circumstances.

I saw a tweet recently in which the poster expressed concern that many of her students prefer communicating via text to speaking face to face. Many of the responses to her tweet said, in essence, “I am more comfortable texting, so that’s how I do it.” We all have preferences about all kinds of things. Ice cream flavors, sports teams, coffee or tea or neither. Many of our preferences, like these, don’t have an impact on other people. However, communication style definitely does not fall into that category. If I order a chocolate milkshake  and you order a vanilla one, … Read more

Um. Uh. Ah. These are the classic filler words that pepper almost everyone’s speech from time to time. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that I’m not that bothered by filler words. Research has shown that most people use them at least occasionally, and that people listening aren’t put off by them. Unless. It is definitely possible to have a serious filler-word habit. A recent client, when speaking conversationally, used “um” between each phrase, and she had no idea she was doing it. That falls into “people will notice” territory. What do we do about … Read more

There’s an unspoken secret that many coaches and teachers have. If your job is to help other people perfect a skill–to coach them–you sometimes secretly wish no one else had ever coached your client before they came to you. (That’s a broad statement: maybe it’s more accurate to say that you wish all their previous instructors had followed the tenets and practices that are foundational to your own approach.) I’ll give you an example.  Last year, I coached a smart executive at the top of his field. He is personable and funny, and really connects with people one-on-one. But when … Read more