Leadership Communication Coaching
For several years, I sent out a blog to readers a few times a week. These posts gave pointers about how to practice, shared relevant stories, and provided a way for people to connect with my coaching approach.
In 2022, I wrote my book, Before You Say Anything, which brought many of these ideas together in one place. The blog posts have continued to resonate with clients and readers, and they're useful as a quick reminder, so I'm including them here!
When in doubt, remember: It’s not about you. That presentation, that difficult conversation, that speech—it’s not about you. Even when the topic is you, it’s not about you. It’s about the person or people you’re talking to. That’s what they’re thinking about, so that’s what you should be thinking about.
This morning, I woke up thinking about an old friend. In fact, I had dreamed that I ran into her and her wonderful family, and I was so happy to see her. “Right,” I thought, “this is a sign that you need to text her.” I had actually been meaning to text her for the past couple of weeks, since the Hamas attacks on October 7. She is Jewish, and her posts on social media about this terrible time have been moving and thought-provoking. I wanted her to know I’d been thinking of her and to thank her for what … Read more
This one’s a re-post: enjoy! Even if you’re late to the meeting, don’t look rushed. Even if the speaker before you cut into your time by ten minutes, don’t look rushed. Even if you overcommitted and have two other places to be, don’t look rushed. Looking rushed is a default intention. It’s an effort we’re making to make sure other people know that we’re busy, or that that other guy talked too long, or that we can’t linger here, so don’t ask questions. What could we do instead? Instead of talking fast, checking the time, and having our mind in … Read more
This one’s a re-post: enjoy! I can’t help with fear of death, or apocalypse, or zombies. But the fear many of us experience when we have a high-stakes presentation or meeting coming up? I have a suggestion. Most of us can describe an interpersonal situation we don’t want to be in. The three situations we hear about most often from clients are: 1) Giving a speech or presentation to a lot of people 2) Having to give tough feedback or fire someone, and 3) Needing to answer questions when we’re not sure what’s going to be asked. In all three … Read more
This is one of the most important things to know when you are preparing a speech or a presentation. Audiences are selfish. Many people fear that the audience is judging them—that is usually misplaced. Most audiences are willing, and even excited, to see what you have to offer. But we’re not there for you. We want to know what’s in it for us. What value are you going to bring? When you’re preparing, answer this question. What’s in it for them? What can I say that will bring value to this audience? How can I deliver this material in a … Read more
This week’s posts may seem familiar! I am working on some new ones, but a huge amount of travel has meant they’re not quite ready so I have pulled a few from the archives.Thanks for your patience! I was just part of a meeting when someone unloaded a short, angry-sounding rant that made the room uncomfortable. Afterwards, she said, “I’m sorry, I just had to say that.” Questions sprang to my mind. Are you sorry? If you’re really sorry, why not just apologize and leave it at that? And what does it mean when you explain: “I had to say … Read more
Imagine a giant convention center ballroom. This ballroom is ready for a conference keynote. At the front of the ballroom is a stage, with a huge screen. There are cameras, and teleprompters, and row after row after row of seats, just waiting for the audience to fill them. Backstage there are dozens of people running the tech, staffing the green room, and being on call. Before the speaker ever steps onstage, a huge amount of logistical effort took place to get them ready and to prepare the room. Then, let’s look at the other side, at the audience. Every person … Read more
On Monday, I wrote about Bill Hader’s insight about identifying what’s wrong versus knowing how to fix it. You can read part one here. This is part two. It’s important for me to say that as a coach, sometimes my suggestions on how to fix things are wrong. The point of coaching is that the client has the answers, and we help them figure out what they are. This is especially true with leadership coaching, but surprisingly, it’s also often true when we are coaching something more skills-based, like public speaking. I’ll give you an example. Let’s say I’m working … Read more
I’m rethinking what this blog might be. I love writing for you, and I’m curious about what you find interesting and useful. Today’s post is an old one, but I am venturing back into writing new posts (as Monday’s of this week was.) If you have ideas about what you’d like to see in this space, please drop me an email! A client recently had a wonderful insight that I wanted to share. You know how sometimes we talk about “putting out fires” to describe solving urgent problems at work? My client pointed out that even firefighters take a minute … Read more
I’m rethinking what this blog might be. I love writing for you, and I’m curious about what you find interesting and useful. Today’s post is an old one, but I am venturing back into writing new posts (as Monday’s of this week was.) If you have ideas about what you’d like to see in this space, please drop me an email! The impulse to prove our rightness always backfires. If your intention is “to show I was right,” what will the outcome be? How will the person you’ve “proven” this to feel as a result? Are they likely to say, … Read more
Angie Flynn-McIver coaches senior leaders and keynote speakers to communicate with clarity, impact, and self-awareness. Her background in professional theatre directing gives her work a distinctive edge: she understands performance and what it takes to hold a room. She is the author of Before You Say Anything, co-founder of the award-winning North Carolina Stage Company, and holds both a PCC credential from the International Coaching Federation and an M.S. in Organizational Development and Leadership.
Angie Flynn-McIver Leadership Communication
Located in Asheville, North Carolina
Serving clients worldwide
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