Leadership Communication Coaching
For several years, I sent out a blog to readers a few times a week. These posts gave pointers about how to practice, shared relevant stories, and provided a way for people to connect with my coaching approach.
In 2022, I wrote my book, Before You Say Anything, which brought many of these ideas together in one place. The blog posts have continued to resonate with clients and readers, and they're useful as a quick reminder, so I'm including them here!
If you haven’t thought: That’s not how I want to say that This part will work better in a different place I need to pause That phrase worked better on paper than when I said it out loud Let me try this again Then you haven’t practiced enough.
There seems to be an inherent insecurity around being able to accomplish good public speaking consistently. Even people who are skilled speakers worry about “losing the magic” or not being “in the zone.” I get it—I’ve definitely had experiences when it feels like a talk I’m giving reaches a place it hasn’t gone before, when I’m really “on,” and it does kind of feel magical. But when we let ourselves believe that the planets just happened to align that one day, then we let ourselves off the hook for doing a great job every time. Dancers, athletes, and actors can’t … Read more
All feedback is subjective. (Not the kind of feedback that makes a loud whine when your microphone is too close to the speaker. That’s objectively happening.) No, I’m talking about the kind of feedback other people give us about something we’ve done, are doing, or are working on. It’s part of our professional lives, but how useful is it? Everyone has an opinion, and we frequently offer them and are asked for them. We give feedback a lot of weight, regardless of our capacity to discern what’s valuable from what’s…just an opinion. Even folks with expertise in a certain area … Read more
When we were in math class, we were asked to “show our work.” How did you arrive at this answer? What’s the thinking that led you to this conclusion? If a student shows their work, the teacher can see their process and help them get back on track if that’s necessary. As leaders, we’re often asked to make a decision or share an opinion. And in those situations, we might be tempted to show our work. We want to give the evidence that supports our conclusion, to armor our decision against pushback with the sheer preponderance of our proof. But … Read more
I had a great conversation with a client recently. She is a pastor, so she’s in the unusual position of getting to speak in front of others often. We were discussing how she can hone her preparation style to best create the experience she hopes to for the congregation. She explained to me that she had been writing out her sermons and using her notes, “because I worry that I’ll leave something out.” Before I could say anything, she added, “But does it ever really matter if I left something out? Maybe it’s just my ego.” (I love it when … Read more
When we’re coaching, we teach clients the best ways to practice for a presentation or a speech. But the real truth is—every day is a chance to practice. Every conversation is a chance to practice intention. How am I hoping to affect the person I’m talking to? Am I being honest with myself about my intention? If I know my default intention is to defend, or to prove I’m right, how can I shift that to a deliberate and productive intention that is more likely to have a good outcome? Every conversation is a chance to practice alignment. Am I giving this … Read more
It’s human nature to hope for the best. Let’s not think about the worst-case scenario—that’s scary! But what if you’re prepping for a big interview, a pitch, or a difficult conversation? It makes sense to envision the last possible thing you want to happen, and prepare a response. What’s the question you are hoping they don’t ask? What’s the tricky challenge your product hasn’t surmounted? What’s the story behind the recent sale of some of your company stock to a minority shareholder? How is your organization handling issues around diversity, equity, and inclusion? When we face that dreaded question or … Read more
It’s such a funny paradox. Most people plan to practice when they have a big speech or presentation coming up. They know from past experience that they will feel more prepared, less worried, and more confident if they practice. They notice a strange flutter of butterflies when someone asks them how their preparation is coming, and they respond, “Yeah, I’m a little nervous. I need to practice.” The day grows closer and they think, “I’m really nervous. I should get to practicing.” One or two days before, the speaker is sitting down to revise the slides again, and somehow, this … Read more
I love a Plan B, and sometimes it’s absolutely necessary. But sometimes Plan B is a way of copping out, of giving ourselves a way to not do the hard work. And here’s the truth about a Plan B—if you know it’s there, you’re going to use it. Using notes for a speech are the poster child for a security blanket masquerading as a Plan B. I was coaching someone recently who clutched her notes like a person on a life raft, and she used them even for the first part of her speech—the part that is nothing but her … Read more
The moments of recognition of failure are the practice. Sam Harris, a neuroscientist and teacher of meditation, shared that thought. It resonates with me because even though Harris was talking about meditation, he could be referring to any skill we hope to acquire. When your mind is wandering during meditation, you don’t know that your mind has wandered. It’s only when you realize you have “failed” that you get to practice bringing your mind back and clearing it again. I’ve been thinking, writing, and coaching about intentional communication for fifteen years. It is still very much a practice, meaning that … Read more
Angie Flynn-McIver coaches senior leaders and keynote speakers to communicate with clarity, impact, and self-awareness. Her background in professional theatre directing gives her work a distinctive edge: she understands performance and what it takes to hold a room. She is the author of Before You Say Anything, co-founder of the award-winning North Carolina Stage Company, and holds both a PCC credential from the International Coaching Federation and an M.S. in Organizational Development and Leadership.
Angie Flynn-McIver Leadership Communication
Located in Asheville, North Carolina
Serving clients worldwide
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