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Lately, I’ve really gotten into the New York Times game Spelling Bee. It’s a word game: there are six letters arranged around one letter in the center (like a daisy). The object is to make as many words as you can from the seven letters, and each of them must contain the center letter. Usually, I start out pretty strong. After a few minutes, though, I hit a wall. I can’t imagine that there are more words I haven’t found—my brain stops seeing new possibilities. Last weekend my sister and I were sitting together when I was playing the game. … Read more

In many fields, teams work together to achieve something. Could be a software launch, a complex tax return, building a house, or winning a basketball game. In each case, though, lots of things have to get done, and different people are responsible for various tasks. Ultimately, they all have to come together in a timely manner to create one thing: a product, an experience, a deliverable, a win. What happens when the team doesn’t communicate about its priorities? What happens when everyone generates their own to-do list and doesn’t communicate with the rest of the team? Well, let’s think about … Read more

I hate running. I know there are a lot of people who love it, who find peace and even exultation in running. That sounds great! My experience is more like: “This is terrible, my legs are heavy, I’m so slow, nobody is as slow as I am, this is dumb, when will this be over”—at every step. But recently I challenged myself to get back into running, and to log a certain number of miles before my birthday. This meant I had to run nearly every day for at least 45 minutes or so in order to hit the target. … Read more

See if this feels familiar: You’re in the audience of an enthusiastic presenter. Her slides are pretty good, and she clearly knows her stuff. She drops a lot of knowledge on you. After talking for 20 minutes, she takes a breath and says, “Any questions?” She looks around for a second, scanning the room, then says, “Okay! I’ll keep going then.” I was discussing this phenomenon with a client recently, and she observed that she has a hard time reading the room in those moments, especially in a virtual setting. So when she’s the presenter, she says, she definitely falls into … Read more

When people are preparing to go on certain game shows, they practice “buzzing in.” On shows like Jeopardy!, proper buzzer technique can be the difference between winning and never getting to answer a question. In order to compete, you have to be able to hit the buzzer the instant you think you might possibly have an inkling of what the answer is. If you wait until you’re sure, you’re too late. I bring this up because I frequently coach people who can’t quite get their voices in the room. They have ideas and opinions, but they don’t want to speak … Read more

I’ve noticed an interesting tendency among many of the high-achieving, smart people I coach. When they’re telling me what they would like to get out of our coaching relationship, they drop their volume, avert their eyes, and confess, “Sometimes I get really nervous when I have to speak in public. I know it’s stupid, but—“ These incredible people have been carrying this around like it’s a dirty little secret, like they should be ashamed. They say it to me like I won’t have heard anything like this before, and they’re sorry to disappoint me. If you’re one of these people, … Read more

Everybody doesn’t need to be equally good at everything. For some tasks and skills, having a basic competence is sufficient—let’s call that a 6. For other skills, where we really make our money and show our value, we need to be a 10. I don’t need to be good at accounting because i have a bookkeeper who is an absolute genius at that. She’s a 10. That’s what people hire her to do. It’s her unique area of value. I do need to have basic math and organizational skills in order to run my business, but no one would, or … Read more

When you go to a concert, do you want to hear the individual notes, or do you want to hear the music? When we come to your speech, we don’t care about the words, we want to hear your ideas.

We have historically unprecedented access to technology that allows us to shoot videos, make movies, and record podcasts. The structures that used to allow only a tiny number of people to share their creations can be easily bypassed now. Anyone can make a movie on their phone and upload it to YouTube. Anyone can record a podcast and send it out via a podcasting platform. Anyone can make a webinar or an online course and put it on the internet. That’s the good news. Here’s the bad news. Your video, webinar, online course, or podcast is being assessed next to … Read more

In many of my client sessions over the last couple of weeks, a theme has emerged. I’m overwhelmed. I can’t get anything done. Everything is top priority. There’s not enough time to actually work. I am so stressed out. The analogy that came up for me is a person working at a computer. She opens a tab for her email. She opens a tab for her calendar. She opens a tab for her project management software. She opens her text messages, her WhatsApp, her kids’ school website, three for research for a work project, and her college’s reunion page. There’s … Read more