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[This is reposted from May, 2018–] So…practice. You may have noticed that some things are easier to plan to practice than to actually, you know, practice. “I’ve blocked out time on my calendar every day this week to practice my speech!” Easy. “I practiced my presentation every day this week!” Hard. About five weeks ago my family got a puppy—a real, licky, waggy, bitey, pee-on-your-floor puppy. Her name is Ollie, and she is my brand-new love. Yesterday, we had a session with a puppy trainer. What I didn’t fully realize when we decided to get a puppy was that it’s … Read more

Do you know how long a minute is? Three minutes? Five minutes? I don’t mean literally—I assume you know how many seconds will elapse in one minute. But when you’ve been asked to speak for minute, do you have a sense of how long that is? As someone who frequently times people speaking, formally and informally, I can tell you this: almost no one has any idea of how long they’re talking. And they’re not a little off, they’re WAY off, usually talking much longer than they think. We have all experienced the “quick round of introductions” that was on … Read more

The moments of recognition of failure are the practice. Sam Harris, a neuroscientist and teacher of meditation, shared that thought. It resonates with me because even though Harris was talking about meditation, he could be referring to any skill we hope to acquire. When your mind is wandering during meditation, you don’t know that your mind has wandered. It’s only when you realize you have “failed” that you get to practice bringing your mind back and clearing it again.  I’ve been thinking, writing, and coaching about intentional communication for fifteen years. It is still very much a practice, meaning that … Read more

If you could learn a physical skill by reading about it, you would already know how to do it. This seems obvious, right? We all know we can’t just read an article about how to fly a plane and then go be a commercial (or even private) pilot. No, we have to log a lot of time in the air with an instructor before we can be licensed to fly a plane.  Similarly, if we want to learn to be better public speakers, we can’t just read a book or listen to a teacher. We have to put in the … Read more

How do I make my speech for everyone? You don’t. You can’t. First, you don’t know everyone in the audience. You may have a general idea of why they’re there, or what they would expect to receive from a talk with the same title as yours. But you don’t know what kind of morning they’ve had, or what articles on your topic they’ve read, or what that text was that they got right before they sat down. The instinct to create a speech that would work for anyone and everyone who might hear it is understandable. But there are two … Read more

I heard a great phrase last week: “create an insider.” A leader at an organization was addressing a group of up-and-comers, and he exhorted them to “create insiders.” As he explained it, when you find yourself in a place where you already know people, where you have friends, it’s worth it to take time to look around and see who may not feel as comfortable as you do. What can you do you include them and make them feel welcome, but more than that, to create an insider? There’s something really evocative about this phrase, and I have found myself … Read more

Many organizations ask various team members to report out at meetings. “On Monday, bring us up to speed on this project, you’ll have ten minutes in the agenda. Oh, and leave time for questions.” Y’all. If a presentation like this is on your to-do list, please do this one thing: time yourself. Grab a stopwatch or fire up the app on your phone, and get a working time on your presentation.  Hey. No, for real.  I know what you might be thinking. “I’m just going to throw a deck together and speak to the slides. No big deal.” But my … Read more

I know.  I do, too. But you know what I hate more? Getting to a place and feeling unprepared. Forgetting what I wanted to say. The clammy feel of my palms sweating as I realize I might not have re-checked my slides. I practice so I will feel great. I practice so I can forget about the content and concentrate on the audience. I practice because the people who are taking time out of their day to listen to me deserve it—whether I’m leading a meeting, holding a call, or giving a keynote. It’s very easy to be too busy … Read more

One reason to practice is to approximate the discomfort of the real thing. Doesn’t sound fun, does it? Athletes train in order to build their speed, skill, and strength, but also to get familiar with what it feels like to be deeply uncomfortable. Knowing that the 800 meter dash creates a specific sensation is valuable information for the runner, and they need to know what it feels like before they get to the big race. When we practice a presentation or a talk, we may feel silly or self-conscious. That’s good! If we don’t have the experience of nervousness or … Read more

Friends, I am struggling! I’ve written here before about Olympic weightlifting, and how challenging it is. For the last couple of months, I’ve been working one-on-one with a coach to iron out some of my bad habits and improve my technique. He is incredibly patient as I make the same mistakes over and over again. Yesterday, we spent an entire hour on one drill, breaking down the movement to get to the crux of my issue. He would demonstrate, it would make total sense, I would try, and it would be…wrong. Again. Then I would do it right! Twice! Then … Read more