The Blog / Archive

Let’s say I run a thriving dog-walking business. I employ five dog walkers to take various clients on walks on different days, and at different times. One walker, someone I have worked with for a while, does a good job but is really flaky about his schedule. He changes things around at the last minute, takes long vacations, and, after I’ve moved the other employees around to cover his shifts, wants all his favorite clients back when his schedule settles down. Not only that, but when he texts “Hey, I’m back in town,” he gets annoyed when I can’t plug … Read more

When I’m directing a play, one of the central questions to answer for each character is what their “super-objective,” or ultimate goal, is.  Do they want to win another character’s love? Receive forgiveness for a long-ago wrong? Avenge their father’s murder? Triumph over their nemesis? Figuring that super-objective out is important because it charts the path for all the other choices. Each scene, each line, each beat, happens in relation to that goal. If you’re unsure about what’s missing in a scene, you can turn back to this work, and it helps bring the options into clearer focus.  I’ll give … Read more

We all know that we shouldn’t assume. Still though, we get through our days one assumption at a time, despite knowing it may lead to misunderstanding. A couple of weeks ago, I was picking up some groceries at a Fresh Market grocery store before setting out on a road trip. There were a couple of people in front of me, and I had an opportunity to learn something new. At the end of each transaction, the cashier bagged the groceries, made eye contact with the shopper, put her hand on their shopping bags, and then said, “You have three (or … Read more

Often we think that speeches and presentations need to be full of big words and lofty ideas. And there’s nothing wrong with either of those things, of course! But if you want to move your audience, if you want us to care about the things you care about, tell us what really matters. Tell us about the family your organization helped to access services when they fell on hard times. Tell us about the team that worked late to push the project to success. Tell us about the client you helped when they thought there was no solution. Give us … Read more

Modern living is all about convenience. If we can have what we need, when we need it, at our fingertips, that’s a good thing. Right? The introduction of email (and its siblings, texting, IM, Slack, etc) was supposed to make our work lives more efficient—no more waiting for a call back before you could move ahead. In his latest book, A World Without Email, Cal Newport makes a compelling argument for the benefit of inconvenience. A primary premise of the book is that the modern way of working (for knowledge workers in an office setting) is what he calls “the … Read more

We’re inundated daily by tons of information and data, and it can feel like our most important job is to pass along our own content and information to others. I notice this frequently when I ask a client what their intention is for the meeting they are preparing to lead. I’ll say, “Think about the outcome you’re trying to achieve. What do you want the people there to feel, think, or do as a result of what you say?” Their answer, often, is a run-down of the agenda of the meeting. “My intention for this meeting is to tell everyone … Read more

When we’re anticipating something that’s going to happen, we tell ourselves a story about what we think may occur. I’m expecting it to be the most glorious day ever I’m sure I’m going to have a terrible time I’m afraid that when I give this presentation it will go horribly and I will be mortified I’m excited to give this speech because it will be a smashing success and I’ll be world famous Our stories and expectations aren’t really very helpful unless we acknowledge that they are just stories. The event hasn’t happened yet. What makes us come to the … Read more

I write a lot about intention in this space. I realized recently that another way to think about intention is attention. Where am I placing my attention? Is my attention on myself or on the audience? Am I concerned about my own experience or theirs? When my default intention is “to get this over with” or “to survive the experience,” my attention is on the physical sensations of anxiety. I think about my sweaty palms, my racing heart, my shallow breathing. My attention is turned inward, focused entirely on myself. On the other hand, when I have a deliberate and productive … Read more