The Blog / Archive

Recently I was chatting with a friend about intention (that’s just how I roll). She shared that she had spoken recently with a man whose job as an interviewer means he’s always talking to new people. His goal with each interview is “to make the other person feel special.” I just love this! What if more of us, more often, thought about making other folks feel special? What would that look and feel like? How might we show up differently if we were focusing on what makes someone else feel valued and unique? Can you think of someone in your … Read more

The myth of multitasking is that we can do more than one thing at a time. In fact, when you’re “multitasking,” you’re rapidly switching back and forth between tasks. Similar to the principle in physics that two objects can’t occupy the same space at the same time, we can’t focus on multiple tasks simultaneously. And that’s good news! If you’re focusing on connecting with your audience, you’re not worrying about how nervous you are.If you’re using your energy to lift the room, you’re not using it to judge your own performance.If you’re thinking about how to make the person you’re … Read more

Long-time friend and blog reader Josh got in touch last week, looking for some advice. He told me: I have an interview for a position that would be really…prestigious.  I’m wondering if you have any tips for avoiding my biggest interview bugaboo – “oversharing.” Ah! This is pretty common, especially with more extroverted folks. The adrenaline of the interview and the natural tendency to talk combines to create rambling and a belated sense of “wait, why did I tell them that?” I congratulated Josh on the interview, and on his self-awareness of this oversharing tendency. Than I suggested:  Think about what they want to learn about you. … Read more

If I asked you what a car salesman’s job is, you might say, “Well, it’s to sell cars.” Yes, for sure. But if they go into work every day with the default intention ”I’ve gotta get people to buy cars,” I bet they’re not very successful. If “to make the sale” is the salesperson’s intention, how does that make a customer feel? My guess is that feels like being sold to, like you’re part of their agenda, their weekly or monthly quota. Nobody likes that. If you’re a great salesperson, you want a deliberate intention that’s lofty, that’s life-altering. It could … Read more

Lately I’ve been indulging in the favorite pastime of a recently-published author—I’m checking out how the book is doing on various online platforms. When I hopped over to the UK version of Amazon, everything looked fine…at first. The eBook version of the book was there and available, just as I hoped. But when I clicked on the paperback version, although the cover of my book was still there, all the descriptive content changed to sell the reader something called “Mens Slim Fit Breathable Pocket Quick Drying Short Pants,” and all the sizing was Chinese. I burst out laughing. My book … Read more

As my daughter Nora and I were making our way to Scotland to get her set up at school, we noticed something. On the US side of the trip, we were pros. We had all our paperwork in order, we rocked the security line like the seasoned travelers we are, and we definitely patted ourselves on the back for being in the know. Then we landed. On the UK side of the trip, all the systems were different. They want your boarding pass at different times than I anticipated, sending me digging through the pockets of my bag looking for … Read more

On August 24, I wrote about some ways to handle competing intentions that might surface on your team. In that situation, you’re all working to be intentional communicators, but people have different priorities. Today, let’s think about what happens when you don’t have the luxury of a shared vocabulary around intention. For example, you’re preparing for a meeting with a client. Your deliberate, productive intention is to ally yourself with them around challenges on a project. You’re ready to work together to find a great new plan. The meeting begins, and it’s immediately clear that the client came with the … Read more

What should we do when our mood is at odds with our intention? We know that we need to focus on the long-term impact of our communication. We know that getting frustrated or irritated won’t advance our cause. But we’re only human. We get annoyed, we get tired of running into the same obstacles, and frankly some days we just don’t feel like combatting our default intention. We’re not in the mood. I’ve been there! And I have a couple of thoughts to share.   First, be honest with yourself if you find you’re just not up to doing the … Read more