The Blog / Archive

I got to spend some time last week with a wonderful team of people doing incredibly cool work. We were talking about my favorite topic: intentional communication! This team has chosen to really engage with the idea of intention, and to work it into their culture. In fact, they begin meetings by asking what intentions people have. A great question arose in our conversation: “What do I do if I’ve prepared a deliberate intention, and someone else has an intention that is opposed to it?” I have never heard this question before. One aspect of the question that I love … Read more

What goes through your mind when you know you’re going to present to a roomful of people? I like to think about it as the lifecycle of your mindset. Does one of these look like you?                 Dread it >>>Survive it>>>Feel relieved that it’s overFeel neutral>>>Execute it>>>Move on to the next thing  Anticipate the experience >>>Nail it>>>Feel thrilled at how it went  I’ll be honest. Though I would love to always fall into that last category, sometimes it’s more like: Feel initial excitement>>>>Start to get nervous>>>>Prepare with intention>>>>Get excited to share>>>>Feel thrilled at how it went So what … Read more

Last month I was working with a new client, an accomplished woman who has done a lot of public speaking. She is new in her role at her organization, and she wants to make sure she is compelling and engaging, as well as knowledgable. I introduced her to the idea of deliberate intention: making the experience of the person listening the center of your communication. Using this concept, she practiced a short presentation. Afterward, the word she used to describe how she felt was “liberated.” I absolutely loved this! She said that understanding intention liberated her from worrying about her … Read more

I write a lot (and think, and coach) about deliberate, productive intention. What is the outcome we seek from our communication, and what can we do on purpose to help bring that outcome about? It’s not enough to think about intention. We have to figure out how to activate it. After all, we understand other people’s intention through their behavior—we aren’t mind readers.  Combining intention and action; that’s what we’re really after. The New York Times article linked below addresses the same topic in a bit of a different way, and I think it’s helpful insight. How can we move … Read more

The great Dean Smith, longtime head coach of the North Carolina Tar Heel basketball team, had a rule everyone who played for him followed. When you make a basket after getting a pass from a teammate, you point to the person who passed you the ball. This quick act of gratitude highlights what’s necessary to be a good teammate. People who share the ball, who are looking not for their own glory but for the player with the best chance to score, receive accolades for their generosity. Pointing to the passer creates a culture that values the team over the … Read more

What could be wrong with “having all the answers” or “getting it right”? What might that mindset exclude from your communication? Ignite CSP coach Neela Muñoz shares insight from a client.   Join Neela for the Virtual Meetings That Work webinar, this week Wednesday – Friday!  

Last week I got to watch a group of interesting, passionate women tell stories.   One woman shared the story of when she started a golf tournament fundraiser for her local Make-A-Wish chapter.  The first section was very deliberately crafted—she used phrases like “And then I turned from my computer and let out a sigh of disappointment.”   When she was finished, I asked, “Did you write the first part down world for word?” She said she had. “And then, when you got to the middle, when the woman talks about her son’s Make-A-Wish trip, you didn’t write that part … Read more

In a workshop I did last week, a woman said, “I am often in back to back 30 minute meetings for seven or eight hours. How can I stay present for all of them? It’s exhausting!”   Yes. It is. Seth Godin writes about this concept–emotional labor is what many of us do now. We’re not digging ditches or building buildings; we’re showing up day in and day out and working with other people, solving problems.   https://seths.blog/2017/05/emotional-labor/   The woman in the workshop wanted me to give her a way to check out of some of these meetings. I … Read more

There’s a moment right before you say something. A moment when you’re drawing in breath to speak, when you can alter the course of what’s coming next. In that moment, where are you? What are you thinking about?   Are you two steps down the road of the discussion you’re having, trying to win an argument or prove that you’re right? Are you already conceding the point that you know you really believe in? In that moment, what do you want to happen next?   That breath, that impulse is a built-in check on your intention. What can you create … Read more

In order to be great at what we do, we need to know how we’re doing. What’s already working? How can we improve?   This simple idea, get a response to how things are going so I can make adjustments, has grown so complicated that it spurs dozens of articles and books every year.   I remembered that the latest issue of Harvard Business Review has a cover story about feedback, so I Googled “HBR feedback” just to get a quick look at how much is out there from that one source. I was struck by this visual:     … Read more