The Blog / Archive

I have a thoughtful, interesting client who wants to show up with more authenticity in his interactions at work. His boss says she also wants him to communicate with more of his “authentic self.” It seems rational that only the person doing the communicating can really determine either yes, this is the real me, or no, I don’t feel like this is who I really am. Nevertheless, a standard element of feedback is some version of: “Does this person come across as authentic?” But who decides what “authentic” looks and feels like? The speaker or the audience? When we hope … Read more

I’ve been a fan of the reality cooking show “Top Chef” for a long time. I just happened to hear the head judge, Tom Colicchio, being interviewed on a podcast, and he was fascinating. One question he was asked was, “What separates a good home cook from a chef?” As I expected, Colicchio had great thoughts about this, and part of his answer really got to the heart of what many of my clients have been challenged by lately. Colicchio explained that the word “chef” doesn’t mean “cook,” it means “boss.” The chef of a restaurant is in charge of … Read more

I first wrote the post below in 2019. I still agree with it, and I thought I’d bring it back for another go. The theme of the post is freedom–mostly, how we respond to the way other people assert their freedoms. It feels particularly relevant to me after the last few weeks in this country, with literal freedoms being taken from our citizens, to address this directly. The beauty and promise of this nation is not conformity. It’s not even agreement. It is freedom, even when our neighbor’s use of that freedom makes us uncomfortable, or we fervently believe something … Read more

I have recently become fascinated with the birds in our backyard. I hung a little feeder, pulled out some bird books I got from my dad, our family birder, and started identifying the regular visitors. The first bird I confidently recognized was a small brown bird, a finch. I was pretty sure that’s what it was because it had made a nest in the hanging petunia on our back porch, and the book let me know that that was a common behavior. “Okay, cool,” I thought. “Finch!” In subsequent weeks I saw and ID’d the tufted titmouse, the Carolina chickadee, … Read more

When kids are little, we want them to try a lot of things. “How will you know what you like unless you try it?” We say this about foods, clothes, places, and people.  In fact, some activities are engineered toward sampling lots of different things, for example in the Scouts programs. You are encouraged to try out everything from cooking to fishing to coding, and you even get a badge of achievement for successfully completing the prescribed introductory activities.  I looked up the requirements to get a merit badge in Bugling from the Boy Scouts. Here is what it says: … Read more

Our sweet dog, Rhodie, has a little problem with hyper-vigilance. Someone walking down the street near our house? ALERT! Guy next door getting out of his car? THIS IS A PROBLEM ! Neighbor’s dog frolicking in his own yard, minding his own business? GET HIM! As a result, Rhodie has to be on a long leash while she’s in the yard, so if she gets worked up we can easily corral her and bring her in to settle down. Yesterday, while my husband and I were relaxing with coffee on the back porch, Rhodie decided that she would pace around all … Read more

Last week, a Broadway theatre-goer smuggled a phone into the audience and recorded footage of the star of the show “Take Me Out.” This video was released onto the internet. Those are the objective, and minimal, facts of the situation. These facts describe a situation that would never, could ever, have happened a few years ago, and should not be happening now. With the rise of the internet, smartphones, YouTube, and streaming, there seems to be a concomitant decline in understanding of what is, and what is not, free for the taking. I confess to being frustrated when a season … Read more

We all have lots of thoughts and ideas washing through our minds at any given time. Stuff we need to do, fragments of conversations we’ve had, bits of songs, worries, reminders, what to make for dinner. You know word clouds? There are words of different sizes close together on a background, and the relative size of each word corresponds to how often it was mentioned in the survey or conversation the data came from.  I think of these bits and pieces that float through our minds as word clouds, too. The size of each word corresponds to how much space … Read more